I literally lie in my bed, talking to myself sometimes about my problems. I realize If I were to write down a lot of the things I thought or talked about, they might actually come to a fluid idea or something. I mean, maybe I think I sound more smart to myself, maybe I am a complete moron. Anyways, tonight I thought to myself as I was talking to this guy. We had been texting back and forth for a while, I became slightly interested. He is good looking, funny and there was good back and forth. We have similar interests. I just felt good about it, but I tend to rush myself with feeling good about men. I felt compelled with him to really push how intelligent I am, I felt like this would be something that could win him over. Solid word play and dumb jokes with big words. I thought showing off my knowledge would “woo” him, in a sense. I thought to myself, has this ever worked in my advantage? NO. Right now wasn’t any different, he was interested in me for one thing. My photos. Having a brain was just this challenge, i could see right through it. I like to think I could see right though a lot of things men try to pull over me. I just always thought, in my mind that the smarter I was the better my chances were with a man. It just makes things harder, and in the end it hurts more. For some reason, I think the fact that I am a tad smarter than the average bird that being heartbroken hurts more. That my emotions are more inept because my brain is more understanding of them. God, I must sound stoned out of my mind. I’m not, just frustrated. I need someone to talk to. Someone needs to tell me its going to be great, eventually.